The feeling of loneliness is so hard. The loneliness of not having him next to us. I find myself crying more these days. Any small memory triggers an overflow of tears and sobs. I try to not cry because I want AA to see that we are doing okay but it is hard not to when you miss him so much. How do people cope with this? How do people continue living? I do not know how to keep going sometimes. In life, never would I have thought that I would have lost one of my best friends as AA was to me. To remember his facial expressions or his utterances and know what he meant or wanted was the best feeling ever. To know someone so well and to love them so deeply probably is the greatest of all feelings. I hope that one day the desert of my soul will gain life again and have beauty and life grow in it once again. I hope that it comes soon because the pain in unbearable and it is forever. I love you AA.
Roi
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