Lake of Tears

We wanted to share something with you all that I recently wrote...hopefully you enjoy it...
Roi & Michelle

"Darkness covers the land surrounding the lake. The dew dresses the leaves of solitude in pewter garments drenched in grey tint. The smell of burnt gun powder still flows through every nostril as the twilight slowly hangs suspended in the frame of the mind while the colors that are formed slowly drip down the canvas. Dalí in his glory.
The One, stands at the edge of the tattered and worn pier. Viewing the small opening towards Heaven amongst the cumulus clouds. Clouds that are streaked with shades of grey, pink, orange and red. The battered cocoon of his metamorphic journey becomes unzipped, falling to the ground in pieces reminiscent of Autumn leaves floating to the ground. Emergent is the glowing splendor of The One floating above the Lake of Tears as he dries the tears off the trees that have so cherished it's presence. Above the lake, above the pain floating away from the desolation towards the Happiness of one's soul... "

Father's Day Thank You

As Father's Day approached last week we were worried as to how difficult it was going to be. We were right. It was a very difficult week that was hard to deal with. Thankfully I had a lot of support. I even had Michelle pay me a visit for the Father's Day weekend which was very, very helpful. I even was surprised by a call from a fellow father of a cancer warrior friend of ours that has gone through the same battle as us and had the same result. His angel is now watching over him and his family. It was nice to have him call and encourage Michelle & I to stay strong and hopefully we did the same for them. Sometimes, we forget how men handle difficult situations such as this and most of us do not do too well in expressing ourselves. I have to say that during this experience over the last year we have met some truly courageous people. People that are inspired by love to fight the unknown. I have to say that it was probably the first time in my adult life that I have met so many people like that. Sure Father's Day is a day to celebrate the fatherly figures in our lives, but it is also a great time to celebrate the people that support these dads. The wives, mothers, aunts, grandmothers, sisters, friends, neighbors and co-workers that many times go out of their way to help these men. In our instance, I will say that the support I got helped out tremendously. I thank all of those wonderful people for helping. You all know who you are.   

Michelle & Roi

3 Months or 91.3105497 Days Later

This is a cute video of AA dancing to one of his favorite Backyardigans episodes last summer, just before we started treatment at MSKCC.

Life is rough, there is no debating that these days. To be honest with you, I believe life has always been rough throughout the centuries, we just see the past from a different perspective. Most of us go through the struggles of making ends meet and find that challenging enough. On most days finding life completely over whelming. Life becomes even more challenging as we enter the social evolutionary process entering into relationships, having children, dealing with mortality and subsequent passing into the next phase of life.  How do we deal with all of the life issues that WE complicate life with, and still have dinner on the table by 6 or 7o'clock I have no idea. 
Now imagine having to deal with a sick husband, wife, child, mother or father. This added circumstance thickens the stew even further. Then imagine having to deal with the incomprehensible early death of a loved one. There are so many of you that have stood by our side as we have dealt with AA's battle with cancer. So many of you that have held our hands and are still holding our hands as we try to get back up from the knock out punch of all knockout punches, having AA pass away. Today, marks three months since AA's passing. These past three months or 91.3105497 days have been extremely hard. Some of you have gone through this, some of you understand the pain and the reality is that some of you do not understand the pain, and hopefully you will never have to understand what it is to lose your shinning star in life and then have to still move on with out him. Just imagine that the Sun that we see and feel everyday on this Planet Earth vanished. Then imagine surviving without it. Most would say it would be impossible but some would say to give it a go, what else is there to lose when you have lost everything that matters in life. Those of you that know us well, know that we are doing our best to move forward, but damn, it's been so difficult and every time an anniversary comes up the wound reopens as if it were the very first one. I write this not to evoke sentiments of pity for us, but to inspire you to value what you are given everyday. The everyday gifts that Life brings you. We miss Andrew Aidan immensely, and know he looks over many of us on a daily basis, while he even visits others as well. We are proud of our courageous boy and know that he is doing a stellar  job in Heaven as an Angel. Thank you for all the support we have gotten over the last year. 
Have a good day!


Michelle & Roi

If only it always happened like this.

   

Art Work

AA's  Galaxy Art Work

Hi everyone...Hope you all are having a great day... We just wanted to share this video below we came across of AA using his Godparent's & our washer/dryer as a canvas for his art. He really did enjoy to draw/paint and we were lucky enough to catch him in the act a couple of times. It is one of his best works as he does his best to use both his left and right hand to draw. His art work looks a lot like many of the pictures you see from NASA of galaxies and star clusters in deep space, similar to the picture below...

Galaxy

From Boy To Man As AA Drives

We always wondered if AA was an "Old Soul" born into a boy's body in order to fullfill his destiny. He showed so much grace, knowledge, composure and love that it sure felt like we knew him forever. Well luckily we now do. A nice example of this is the "right of passage" that many fathers get to experience with their sons when they teach them to drive. We were lucky enough to experience that with AA for his second birthday. AA & I picked Michelle up from work that day and went to run some errands afterwards and I decided that I would bring him upfront with me to expereince life. To try something that he had never done before and something that seemed so natural to him. That was to drive a car! There were so many days in which he would imitate driving with me from his car seat and sometimes we would even be doing the car sounds together..VROOM! BEEP, BEEP!  Truly blessed moments that will always be cherished not to mention how great and funny it was for us to see AA do this.  Many days were filled with smiles due to his amazing ability to make people smile and laugh. We are proud of him as AA's life was filled with so many experiences that showed his growth from a boy to a man in an amazing way. To our old soul, we truly love you and are proud of you. Hope to have you visit for Father's Day!

Setting Sunrise

Sometimes I wonder how we arrive at our destinations in life at times. I think I was always like this but even more since we had AA...it's amazing how a little one changes your perspective in life. I've realized over time that at certain points in our lives we all board what I call " The Flow Train". Well what is the Flow Train... I feel it is when life starts taking us on a path that seems too obvious not to follow... There are times when this train goes through everyone's life.. Why fight it when it seems that this train brings good vibes with it and could usually serve as a tool to help us move forward in certain aspects of our lives... This week has been a ride on the flow train for us. Michelle and I entered a very challenging period in our lives once again, a period that will continue to test our love and faith in each other, in AA and God as I start school shortly... It has been a different week. A week full of hard emotional challenges as we miss AA in so many different levels but we are very appreciative of the support system we have and continue to be there for each other. Have a great day everyone and sorry for not writing much this week. It was full of change.

Us