Andrew Aidan, Our Fighting Warrior!

Andrew Aidan and his dog Beemer have been the pride and joy of their parents, Michelle & Roi ever since they were born. AA loved to take walks outside, play with his best friend Beemer and his Thomas the Tank Engine set of toys along with any other plane, helicopter, car, truck toy he can get his hand on. For those that have met him, they saw the soul of a mature adult in the body of a sweet, loving boy with a beautiful smile. He bravely battled an aggressive, inoperable, rare form of brain tumor called Atypical Teratoid Rhabdoid Tumor or AT/RT that spread to his spine as well. This type of cancer effects less than 50 children a year in this country. He has been an inspiration to us and we are sure he will be a vessel of motivation to those in similar situations. Thank you God for protecting our boy!

Thank You!
Andrew Aidan (R.I.P.) , Michelle (Mother), Roi (Dad) & Beemer

Friday, April 6, 2012

I Miss Being A Dad

I will always be a dad even though AA is in Heaven now but I miss being a dad. I miss helping him eat his food or taking baths with him while we play with his toys while singing silly songs that we would make up. I miss watching him sleep, walk, talk, laugh. I miss holding his hand or having him put his head on my shoulder. Just sitting down and watching him play was one of my favorite things to do. His purity and enjoyment were highlights of my days with him. How I miss reading "Thomas & The Jet Engine" to him. I would read that book to him at least 50 times a day. I even miss changing his diaper. You really know you love someone when you say you miss that. It's now 4:30 am and I can't fall asleep because I miss checking up on him every night before I go to bed and just move him slightly to make sure he is breathing. There are so many things I miss of him. These tears hurt. It's like acid tears rolling down my face and heart burning canyons of pain while I struggle to keep moving forward. I do my best to stay positive and happy but the quiet moments are always the worst. The quiet moments ambush your heart and soul and attack with reckless abandon. Stripping you down until you bones show. So many men take their children for granted and just walk away from their responsibilities and feel no sort of remorse. If only they knew how wonderful it is to be a dad maybe they would think differently. If only they knew how special it is to have your child love you, maybe they would realize that there are so many men like me that wished for what they could have. I wish I had my AA back, I wish I could. Sorry for crying AA, I just miss you my son.
Roi
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