Happy Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day... It's a day that we are happy to have off.. It's a well deserved break from the madness of life that in reality we just don't get enough time away from anymore. This is a day that we just need to worry about the kids having fun, how many people are coming over to the BBQ or driving to the local beach given that it is the un-official start of Summer.
In addition to the break we all get from this day it has great significance because it is a day to remember all of the great men and women that have sacrificed their lives for maintaining and improving our quality of life. It is to these that we say thank you. It is also a day for us that we will honor our Angel Warrior, Andrew Aidan... Our warrior fought bravely and we hope that his experience at MSKCC will hopefully help other children defeat Cancer and improve the quality of others to come. God bless us all and we love you AA.
Michelle & Roi

AA's DVD Honor Moment.

I am currently in Manhattan running some errands before I start school on June 4th and had to go by Memorial Sloan Kettering to drop off some cartoon DVD's that we accidentally brought home with us after we checked out of the hospital back in March. I was able to see some of the staff we were cool with, including Julianna Y. & Alyson S. They were very instrumental in the ability of all three of us to deal with our ordeal with cancer. Something they said really struck a cord with me. They said that they miss us still and that various staff members and families still ask for us and about how we are doing. They told us that so many people feel that we were role models for being great parents that did every thing possible to provide AA with every opportunity to succeed with his battle with cancer. It was very unexpected but it was a nice way of AA honoring us through his experience. We never did this to gain respect or admiration from anyone, we just did what we needed to do to fight for our boy. The boy we love. There was only so much we could do against something that does not understand compromise but we are satisfied in knowing that we placed all our cards on the table and have no regrets about how we treated AA. Most importantly, AA knows that now and I am sure he knew it then.
Roi

Change

Change...the ability or action that is performed by someone or something to modify their current or future situation. That is my definition for change when I just sat down to think about the change we have just gone through over the last year. In reality why the hell does change have to be so hard. I prefer the "easy" changes in life, like " I changed my mind lets have Chinese for dinner" or " you know what, I am tired of this job, it's time for a change". Never would I have thought that Michelle, Andrew Aidan & I would have gone this route. Having a member of your pack, your loved one vanish away from the planet is such a mind twisting experience. Thinking about change started today when I was writing a text to Michelle and I said in the text " Andrew Aidan come back I need back up". Although I said it in a playful manner it just reminded me that our Angel Warrior has our back in other ways these days. It reminded me that longing for him is just as hard as the first days or as when we first learned of his diagnosis.
In our situation, it just sucks that we have and will make change for the good of the family but he will be watching us make those changes not actively participating in them. As I finish painting our place I contemplate what it would have been to have him painting along side me. A nice father/son moment that will only live in my imagination These are just some of the changes that we all make at some point in our lives. Hopefully some of us are spared the pain that comes along with some change. Have a great day everyone and tell someone you love them and really mean it. You'll be surprised how special that phrase really is when it is appreciated.
Roi

Giving Back To Those That Helped

Just wanted to let every one know of a pretty good event happening this weekend. It's one I was lucky enough to be a part of. Today was the first day of a two day expo called The New York Baby Show at Pier 92. Pier 92 is located on the West Side Highway & 55/56 Street. It's an event with varied types of vendors and seminars and workshops. I was there today in order to help out the NYC Dads Group I am a part of. The group had a Dad's Lounge sponsored by Huggies which gave Dad's the opportunity to change their children at a changing table or have a seat to feed or give the little ones nap time. It was really nice to meet some of the guys from the group, especially Lance & Matt, the organizers of the group. They have been so supportive of our battle with Cancer. I also felt fortunate to be a resource to new fathers by informing them of the wonderful things that groups like NYC Dads Group do for other fathers. I am happy to have gone and represent the fighting spirit of AA and our family in person. Please try to make it out there if you can. Tomorrow Sunday is the last day. It a great chance to encourage Dad's to be more involved in their children's lives in order to make a positive difference in their lives. Thank you and good night.
Roi

The Road To Parenthood

On Tuesday, I had the opportunity to go with a group of dads from the NYC Dads Group to see an advanced screening of the new movie " What To Expect When Your Expecting" courtesy of Lion's Gate Films. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised at how good the movie actually was. It was pretty entertaining and the audience pretty much seemed to agree as well. They did a good job of depicting the different roads that humans take to become parents. The scenarios of having difficulty to conceive, infertility, miscarriages and random pregnancies that many of us deal with as we try to build families of our own was very real to life. I was able to relate to many things which I found similar to our experience with AA. Our experience with AA was an amazing unique experience that we are lucky to have had and glad we went through it together. It was not the road we were expecting but it was our unique "Road To Parenthood" that no one in the world has. There is only one AA Michelle Roi Blvd and we happy for it...
Roi

AA Remembered At Pace University

Yesterday, May 14, the 2nd D.N.P graduating class from Pace University was honored for all of their hard work in obtaining their Doctorate degrees in a pre-graduation ceremony which is held every year for the graduation class of a particular degree and major. It is a very intimate and enjoyable event that is well deserved. Well, just last year we were enjoying this same event in honor of Michelle & and her classmates in being the 1st D.N.P Doctorate graduating class from Pace. It was a very memorable event for our family and Michelle. In a year much has changed, most notably the absence of our brave and beautiful boy from our physical lives. As a result of AA's brave battle in defeating cancer and ascending to Heaven, the administration at Pace University's School of Nursing honored our family by reserving a seat at this year's pre-commencement event and will continue to do so every year from here on, in honor of their "D.N.P Angel" as AA was called by Dr. Singleton.
We were and are, very moved by this beautiful memorial and are truly appreciative of such an honor. The administration, faculty, staff and students at Pace University have been so very supportive, from pregnancy to our most recent life event with AA's passing to Heaven. We truly appreciate it and will always have you all near to our hearts.
Michelle & Roi

2 Months In Heaven

Many of us want many things, some want the perfect job, the perfect partner, the latest sports car or dream house fit for a king. We do not always receive the things that we wish for. Sometimes due to lack of motivation, will power, finances or required knowledge to get those sought after possessions. I know a wonderful little man who one day wanted to be safe and happy in his parents arms and he was. He didn't have the chance to desire such things because he was needed with greater importance in Heaven. Today, marks AA's two month anniversary of moving to Heaven and we are extremely proud of being parents of an Angel, but we miss his physical presence dearly. Thankfully we have his spiritual presence everyday with us. As you go about your busy days trying to conquer the world, which most of us do, think about the things that really matter to you and value your life and blessings. The only thing I desire now is to spend the rest of my days getting closer to Heaven, because he is there, motivating us and waiting for us. Have a blessed day.
Roi

A Coat of Primer On Your Life

It's such a nice day today. I'm at home painting our place as we are still on this journey of recovery. Days like these are some of my favorites because AA & I would go for our walks on such days. As I paint the place I remember all of the fine details that go into making a home look and feel the way you want it. Painting of the trim, sanding the walls and preparing the walls with primer just to mention some things. Similar to the fine details that define our relationships with the ones we love. Sometimes, well no, everyday I wish that there was a special primer that existed for our lives. A primer that you can just add on the imperfections that are on the walls of our lives. Hopefully, it would cover the pain, the disease and the death that many of us experience. Especially, the big wall of losing AA on this level of our existence. We have been doing our best to lean on the faith and hope that lies in the belief of an after life. When my gas tank of hope runs low and I find myself crying incessantly I do my best to fill it up with the hope I find in AA's constant spiritual presence. It's something I notice that is constant. It's also so amazing that when we are low he always finds a way to reach out to us and let us know he is with us. As much as we would like to make this go away and have AA be back with us in the physical realm, we can't and no amount of wall primer can erase that from the walls of our lives.
Roi

Butterfly In The Sand

The following is a text Michelle received from one of our friends from Memorial Sloan Kettering. Yesterday she was having a photo shoot done with Inspiration Through Art, the same organization that did AA's photo shoot as her daughter has beaten cancer and is doing well to date. As her daughters walked ahead of her she then had a conversation with the photographer about AA. The following is her story. We are glad that we met them and are
glad that AA's life has been an inspiration and a source of strength for many.
Roi

"I have to tell you this story...we were at the beach tonight around 6pm taking pics through inspiration art...we were almost done it was getting late and the sun was setting...the photographer was telling me I had to sign a release so the pics can go on their site.I said I know because friends of mine did a photo shoot....The girls walked away and I told her all about little AA....at that very moment a butterfly flew down from out of no where and landed on the sand. I was thinking about the story Roi told about his butterfly ....I bent down and it crawled up my arm so softly....she took pictures she and I were both crying....it was a true sign we were just talking at that very moment of AA .....his life has touched so many of us....I am so thankful I was able to meet him.....we love him!"

Lunch with Bob & AA

The following I could not make up, even if I tried. Yesterday I was removing all the nails and anchors from our wall in order to paint our place before I start school in June. Well it was lunch time and I decided I was going to have one of Andrew Aidan's favorite meals, Mac & Cheese with Creamed Spinach and Chicken Nuggets. As I am about to sit down and eat I decide to turn on the TV and guess who was playing on Channel 13? Bob the Builder! One of AA's favorite cartoons. Well obviously I got
teary eyed and realized that our boy was there in spirit with his old lunch buddy. It was nice to have him over for lunch and I invited him to have a seat with his old man as I pulled a seat out for him. Great food, great entertainment & and great company made for a very awesome lunch. Thanks AA for paying me a visit. Love you.
Papa